Estate Planning Wake-Up Call: A Reality Check From a Regular Person

I work at a Registered Investment Advisor firm. I am not, however, a financial person. I’m a regular person. I do not manage portfolios. I do not read prospectuses for fun.

I play a supporting role at Carnegie Investment Counsel. As Marketing Coordinator, my job is to draw out the insights and guidance from the big brains of the financial professionals around me and get it out in front of the people who actually need it. That's you. Blogs, videos, emails, educational content. That kind of thing. I'm an ideas-and-words person in a room full of math-and-numbers people.

One thing we absolutely share, though: A genuine desire for clients to get the objective, transparent, and personalized investment services they deserve. Not to be dramatic, but I love my job.

So, even though I’m not a financial person, I am adjacent to some of the smartest financial minds around, and I soak up as much as I can. Naturally, I assumed some of that had to be rubbing off on my own financial life. I've done the things. I have a will. I have beneficiaries named. I have signed important-looking documents in important-looking offices.

Plus, I’m young.

Okay, yeah, I was born in the 1900’s but still… estate planning is a problem for future me. I was not worried.

So imagine my surprise on a random Thursday when I showed up to what I thought was just another workshop to take notes for content ideas and walked out texting my husband: "WE NEED TO SCHEDULE A MEETING WITH AN ESTATE PLANNER, like yesterday!"

Here’s what happened:

Recently our firm brought in elder law attorney Ben Turshen of SOLACE Estate Planning to talk to our advisors about the legal side of protecting what their clients have built. His real-world examples and detail-oriented breakdowns landed hard with me. I knew the rest of the regular people needed to hear this too.

Here are the three takeaways that finally got me to take action on building a better estate plan. (From one regular person to another.)

1. Having documents is not the same as having a plan.

I have a will. What I didn't realize is that a will, a power of attorney, a beneficiary designation, any of the important-looking documents I've signed over the years gives someone authority. It does not give them instructions. And that difference matters more than I ever thought to ask about.

Ben told a story about a family: Mom has a stroke, needs to move to a nursing home, and the child who lives locally has her power of attorney and starts making decisions. The two kids who live out of town call, and suddenly everyone has a different version of what mom would have wanted. Arguments start, relationships strain, and not one person is fighting over money.

"Without proper planning, kids don't fight over money. They fight over what mom wanted."

The power of attorney gives someone the wheel, but it doesn’t tell them where to drive. The documents are the starting point, not the finish line. A real plan means your actual wishes and preferences are documented, so the people you love aren't left interpreting; they're following your instructions.

Ask yourself: if something happened to me tomorrow and someone had to make decisions on my behalf, would they know exactly what to do? Or would they be making their best guess? If you're not sure, that's your answer. It's worth a conversation with an estate planning attorney to find out what's missing. If you don’t already have one, your Carnegie advisor can help connect you with a trusted estate planning professional.

2. A will doesn't protect your family from court. It guarantees they go.

This is the one that genuinely broke my brain for a minute.

This is where I need to tell you about my father-in-law. He was one of the most organized, thoughtful, prepared people I have ever known. Smart businessman. Smart people around him. He had done everything he thought would make the process easier for his family after he was gone. And settling his estate was still one of the hardest, most complicated, most exhausting experiences our family has been through. Even with everything he did right, there were roadblocks he didn’t anticipate.

I thought about that a lot in this workshop. Because here's what Ben said that I didn’t know before:

Having a will does not keep your family out of probate court. It guarantees they go.

A will is essentially a letter to a judge that says: please follow my instructions instead of the state's default rules. It still goes through the court. And that process is public record. Anyone can look up your assets, your beneficiaries' names, and what everyone inherited. It's slow, typically nine to twelve months, and it is expensive. In Ohio, on a $1 million estate, you're looking at around $55,000 in executor and attorney fees before you've paid a single court cost.

And then Ben mentioned the phone calls. You know the ones: people trying to buy your house. You get them now and it’s annoying. Imagine getting them while you're grieving, because your family's inheritance just became public record, and you've been flagged as a target. It's a real thing that happens.

The thing that keeps your family out of court is a properly funded trust. Not a will. And only a trust that has been set up correctly and properly funded, meaning your assets have been titled into it. Ben said most trusts fail not because they're poorly written but because nobody ever puts anything in them. The trust exists. The assets never made it inside.

If you have a will and you believe your family is protected, please call an estate planning attorney and ask one question: does my current plan require probate? The answer might change your afternoon.

3. Leaving money to people you love isn't automatically the kindest thing you can do for them.

Ouch.

When we think about leaving something behind for our spouse, kids, for whoever matters most to us, we picture a gift. Something that makes their life easier. We don't picture our good intentions creating a burden.

But handing someone an inheritance outright means that money arrives in their life fully exposed. Exposed to whatever is happening in their financial life at that moment. Exposed to divorce proceedings. To creditors. It can even disqualify a child from financial aid if the timing is wrong. The gift arrives, and with it, a whole set of problems you never intended to create.

Ben's solution is the difference between giving someone an asset and giving an asset to a trust for their benefit. The trust holds it. Your person still benefits from it. But it comes with your intentions built in, and with protection they wouldn't otherwise have. It isn’t about not trusting the people you love. It's actually the opposite. It's caring enough to make sure what you leave them stays with them.

This was the moment I realized that complacently signing the important-looking documents the professionals slide across the desk isn't a plan. The professionals can do their jobs beautifully. But they need you to tell them what you actually want for your people. Nobody else can do that part. That part is yours.

So that's what I took out of that room.

Not panic exactly, but more like the uncomfortable clarity that comes when you realize you've been treating a starting point like a finish line.

My husband and I did get that meeting scheduled, and I’m happy to report that it felt less overwhelming than I expected. As a regular person, I already feel accomplished. Because let’s be real, the hardest part isn’t the legal work. It's deciding to do it.

If you've been in the same "I think I'm probably fine" boat I was in, I'd encourage you to ask one question of the professionals in your corner: is what I have actually enough? You deserve to know either way.

The Advisors at Carnegie can work alongside your estate planning professional to make sure the financial and legal sides of your plan are working together. It's not one or the other. It's both. And if you don't have an estate planning attorney yet, your Carnegie advisor can connect you with one they trust. Reach out if you’re not sure where to start. That's exactly what we're here for. (Well, the financial people anyway.)

For informational and educational purposes only. The information is not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations, and the information has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable. 

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