If you've spent a lifetime working hard, building wealth, and providing for your family, it can be difficult to think about entrusting it to someone else. But from my personal experience as well as guiding clients through it, it’s better to have a plan and let it evolve as seamlessly as possible so that it doesn’t become a burden to your precious loved ones down the road.
Yes, sometimes it feels uncomfortable, a little morbid, and frankly, overwhelming. That’s understandable. Still, the sooner you embrace it, the more peace of mind you can give yourself and your family. We’ve really done a bang-up job at making money a taboo topic. The key is to not make it weird. However, depending on your family dynamics, that may be unavoidable. So do your best!
We tend to spend most of our lives focused on accumulation. Grow the portfolio. Buy the house. Take care of the kids. Save for retirement. But that’s just half of the story: what happens after? Who takes over? Who makes decisions when we can’t? And are they ready to do so?
It’s Not Just About the Money
Let’s start here: wealth transfer isn’t only about dollars and cents. It’s about care, continuity, and clarity. If you’ve ever helped a loved one through a tough aging transition—whether that involved cognitive decline, illness, a fall, or a sudden loss—you already know how quickly things can spiral when there isn’t a plan in place. And you know that in those moments, what matters most isn’t the investment portfolio—it’s knowing who’s going to help pay the bills, make healthcare decisions, and carry the baton for you.
I’ve been in this situation myself, and it was extremely difficult, and at times maddening! I share my story with clients now to help them plan early and avoid these headaches.
Still, too many families find themselves in crisis mode. The adult children step in, but no one has discussed who’s in charge, what Mom wanted, or even where the documents are stored. This happens all the time, even in the most well-meaning, well-off families. And the emotional toll can be significant.
Estate Plans Are Not Set-It-and-Forget-It
You may have a will. Maybe you even sat down with an attorney years ago and set up a trust. That’s a great start! But an estate plan is more than a single document; it’s a living and evolving document. It includes not just your will or trust, but also beneficiary designations (which, by the way, pass most assets), healthcare directives, and powers of attorney.
Here’s something many people don’t realize: just because you’ve named someone in a power of attorney document doesn’t mean financial institutions recognize that power until they’ve reviewed and accepted it. That document sitting in your filing cabinet isn’t going to help your son or daughter gain access to your accounts if something happens. These things need to be activated and shared with the appropriate people before they’re needed.
Understanding Powers of Attorney
Give the Heads-Up While You’re Still in Control
One of the greatest gifts you can give your family is clarity. If you’ve named someone as your healthcare or financial power of attorney, they need to know what that means. Sit down with them. Tell them what to expect. Walk them through the kind of decisions you would want them to make on your behalf. Do they know where your accounts are held? Have you talked about the kind of care you’d want if your health takes a turn?
It’s not an easy conversation, but it’s a meaningful one that should not be rushed. And in many ways, it’s an act of love. It says: I’ve thought this through. I trust you. I don’t want to leave you guessing.
Aging Comes with a Plan, Too
Beyond financials, think about the logistics of aging. Can you stay in your home long-term? Who’s going to help if you need care? I know it’s not easy, but when do you give up the car keys? These are tough realities, but they’re also opportunities for thoughtful planning. An “aging plan” can be just as important as an estate plan, and often they work hand-in-hand.
We live in a world that expects an 80-year-old to manage two-factor authentication and QR codes. It’s not always realistic. At some point, you may need help navigating the increasing complexity of life (and technology). The earlier you prepare for that, the smoother it will go.
Don’t Wait for a Crisis
One advisor recently said it best: “These things start while you’re alive, not when you’re dead.” You’ve already done the hard part: building a meaningful life, providing for your loved ones, accumulating assets through years of hard work. Now’s the time to put that same care into the next chapter.
Talk to your advisor. Talk to your family. Review your documents. Ask yourself: If I couldn’t make decisions tomorrow, who would? And are they ready?
Because if you fumble on the one-yard line, after running the full field, it’s not just your wealth that’s at stake. It’s your legacy, your wishes, your relationships. And with a bit of forethought, you can make that handoff with confidence.
If you need guidance or support, ask your advisor to help guide a family meeting. If you don't have an advisor, contact Carnegie to learn more and take a step in the right direction. These conversations may be difficult, but they're some of the most important ones you'll ever have.
For informational and educational purposes only. Opinions are subject to change. Please consult with tax, legal, and financial advisors, as your circumstances may be unique.
Carnegie Investment Counsel (“Carnegie”) is a registered investment adviser with the Securities and Exchange Commission. Registration as an investment adviser does not imply a certain level of skill or training. For a more detailed discussion about Carnegie’s investment advisory services and fees, please view our Form ADV and Form CRS by visiting: https://adviserinfo.sec.gov/firm/summary/150488.
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